12/8/14

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

One of my favorite places in this city is the 4-storey bookstore near my place. Four floors of books and carpeted floors. People could plop down on the floor and read. And I’ve actually met some interesting people there.

But one level is different. Self-help books fill almost half the floor.

There are times when I stand there a little confused. Their hard copies sell millions and they’re heavily-pirated in the ebook world. My mind then proceeds to the many online articles that have gone viral telling you how to act in every situation imaginable or how to understand this or that.

Makes me wonder, what are we doing with genuine human response to life happening all around us? Are we trying to create a world of sameness where everyone is, unwittingly, forced into a mold?

I concede that these were written with basis in reality. Thousands and even millions may have been helped by this genre of literature as they are relatable and “real.” But it's become funny to me how the world seems to be functioning according to the rules and ideals proposed by these materials. 

It’s gone to the extent where people are driven to ludicrous levels of overthinking and disconcertion whenever they do something according or contrary to what have read. We are suddenly plagued with questions like: Did I do it right? So I’ve been doing it wrong all this time?  So if I do this, I’ll get right, right? (Writer's note: please exclude religion when you read this. That's an entirely different discussion that this post will not give justice to.) 

In our world now, there are layers upon layers of rules and how-to's found in writing or otherwise -- sometimes driving us to fixate on perfection and getting it right -- when maybe life can be simpler and more authentic.

These rules cannot hold forever. People adapt. Some years ago, women were taught to put a hold on their careers so they can get married. Now, we have Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg where women cry foul at such stereotypes. The concept of busy as the epitome of success. Men and their excessive machismo. These do not apply anymore. What’s written in Women are From Venus, Men are From Mars is slowly being chipped away by the concept of "role-switching” between men and women. (recommended read: http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/01/15/how-to-make-love-1936-pietro-ramirez/)

Of more import is this: don't we, as self-aware human beings, have to establish our own identities? Are we not tasked to use our intellect and consciousness in a way that justify them fully?

Whenever I read articles or am told that these are the steps to *insert whatever goal you want,* I squirm a little. There is wisdom from those who have experienced life ahead of me. Refusal to listen to those wiser and believing to know everything is certain foolishness. Nevertheless, careless absorption of passed on knowledge dangerously toes the line between sagacity and parroting or blind following.

After all, how can someone outside of oneself claim to know someone else’s story fully? and what of creativity?

One of my biggest worries when I started publicising this blog and getting feedback about it is that someone might walk away thinking, “Oh, that Working Girl blog person told me to do this when this happens.” Well, unless, of course, you turn out to be an extremely successful person who changes lives. Then I would gladly be the wind beneath your wings. Kidding aside, we are here to tell our story to anyone who will have us and to hear stories from those who would want us to listen. Not to infringe on decision-making.

My Philosophy of Ethics professor in college said that the university requires all its students to take four philosophy classes was not to create a uniform world where everyone thinks the same way. We are exposed to other thinkers so as not to go to “war” completely unequipped and ignorant of the real challenge imposed on all of us: to create our own philosophy.

That was probably the best thing I learned in college.

So though Jesuits may occasionally dismay/frustrate me with their penchant to ask more questions instead of answering any of them and their insistence on “discernment," I understand that it’s their way of telling you in the nicest way possible that you should grow a spine and decide on your own because only you know what’s best for yourself.


P.S. We apologize for the long hiatus. Life happened. We're back now. 

No comments:

Post a Comment