A LOVE STORY

Family and friends are bewildered at how I can make myself run. Long work days, typhoons, late nights -- not an issue when I want to run.

How do I do it? I'm not so sure either. Exercise is still a struggle. Many times, I'd rather be immobile. My couch feels so good and this country's so humid that moving can be torture. And TV + food combo? TIMELESS.

Nevertheless, running and I have a relationship: we have off days and good days. Here's our love story.

Freshman year in college, I had to host my best friend’s 18th birthday party. I wanted – needed – to look good. It was going to be a big party and a former crush was bound to be there. So I decided to add more movement in my life and lose weight. The cheapest way to do that was to run.

One night, I headed out and tried to do it. It felt terrible. Each landing I had was heavy. EVERYTHING IN MY BODY SHOOK. I felt completely lopsided and awkward. It was so hard that I couldn’t last for a straight minute.

Even Ann Perkins agrees. (GIF from the wonderful world of Tumblr.)

After that first try, I resolved that I would only run when it was dark and late, when there wouldn't be anyone to see me flop around like a whale on legs. I also vowed to only wear black sweatpants and dark loose shirts to hide the jiggling things.

I'll be honest, what kept me going those days was my vanity. I had the Pussycat Dolls on loop as running music and pictured their toned abs. The more I lost weight, the more I wanted to run. The harder I ran, the more I imagined the fat shaking itself to oblivion.

Thus, the party came and went, but running stayed. Yes, because of vanity.

It's already been over a decade since that fateful night and I know now that no matter how hard and how far I run, I'll never be a Victoria's Secret Angel (sorry, Adam Levine). And I still am not a superathlete (not with my crazy course work in college and my day job now). But I have not, will not and cannot stop running.

This is the secret to my addiction:

Running has saved my life. I've lost over 70lbs and I'll bet my heart is stronger than most 20-somethings. It's built me friendships, too: my running buddies, the regular runners in my area, people I meet who also love running (it’s great chitchat topic with new people). Plus, it lets me eat what I want to eat with less guilt (I love food).

Most importantly, it set me free. These days, what matters is I could run and run well. It’s taught me to accept the limitations that a human body can have – effectively managing my body image issues. I now wear shorts so I move better. Neither do I hide in the dark any longer. I listen to my body and take care of it (hence eating well and resting muscles accordingly. I still cheat though!). How it makes me lose weight has become a bonus.

As in any real relationship, it takes constant patience to not give up on my body. It really can be a war. But I don't rush it or force it into a form that is not natural to it -- not anymore. It has to be given time to get to its best shape. And you know what they say, nothing instant ever sticks.

P.S. I totally doubt that Channing Tatum built his body in a month. And even Adriana Lima boxes to get into shape (see Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2013).

P.P.S. Bonus story (Apologies to those who cannot speak fluent Filipino. This bit is “un-translatable”):

One night, my friend sent me a text message asking me how to start running. My response:

Magbihis ka into jogging attire. Tapos labas ka ng pinto. Punta ka sa kalye. Kung conscious ka, doon ka sa wala gaanong tao. Tapos try mo maglakad pero mas mabilis. One foot in front of the other pero mas may lift – yung parang nagmamadali ka kasi late ka na for class. O check mo sa Youtube yung proper form. At first medyo weird kasi aalog lahat. Tapos feeling mo na ano ba ‘to, ang pangit tingnan, para akong kabayo na tatlo lang ang paa. Pero it gets better because you stop caring.